Simplicity

Sometimes when life feels overwhelming, I go to the simple, yet profound principles of Reiki:

photo credit here

Just for today, do not anger

Do not worry

Be grateful

Work hard

Be kind to others

That sums it up, doesn't it?  Kind of like hitting the re-set button...

Have a great day!

{Jenn}

Redefined

I have been a bit preoccupied lately with something new.  I know, don't I have enough plates spinning at once?  You know I can't help it.

Deciding to go to work part time {for the school district I used to work for as a full-time teacher} has been great for me and my family.  I can get my kids on the bus everyday, and I'm home way before the school bus brings them home.  I can't ask for more {except a bigger paycheck but that won't happen in a part time position, let's be honest}. So I heard from a friend about how she started her own business through Rodan + Fields Dermatologists, and it made me curious.  Another avenue to possibly make money that would still allow me to work around my children's schedules.  Hmmm.

But I have never been in sales before...and I never worked in the beauty business before....and what the heck was I thinking?  But after hearing about the business, and how much the company supports it's business owners, it was almost silly to pass up being a part of this growing, billion dollar industry.  I figured why not give it a try.  I'd go all in.  Give it solid commitment, and if I was able to maintain a positive cash flow, then I would have a new career in the works...and still be able to be 'home' for my girls. 

It would even offer me a way to make money during the summer, when my school district job would not be sending me paychecks.  And the best perk?  Amazing skin care products for myself~everyday~not just once in awhile.

Before I signed on to become my own boss, I 'googled' the company like crazy.  I watched every YouTube video on R+F that there was.  I tried to find reasons not to go through with it...like is it a pyramid scheme?  {No, it's not...}  I could not find anything negative~other than if it failed, it would only be because I didn't put any effort into it.  This is a business, I'd have to treat it as such.  I could do that. 
I'm either going to do this, or I'm not.  What did I have to lose?  I kept hearing that favorite MLK quote in my mind (paraphrased):

"You do not have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step".

So I started to think of the positives...I have been a teacher my entire adult life, clearly I can convey information, and I love learning new things.  My friend just died of skin cancer~clearly I had a vested interest in helping women {including myself} protect their skin {R+F product regimens always end with a sunscreen component}.  And I am motivated by helping contribute more for my family and our household expenses.  Turns out this looked like it could work for me.

So, I did it. I took the next step...I'd never know if I didn't even try, right?  How many times have I encouraged my kids to try something new? 

That's what I'm doing now.  I am an Independent Consultant for Rodan + Fields, and guess what?  I'm doing really well, just 4 weeks into my new endeavour.  It's something brand new, fun, and it's really the first time I have stepped out of my comfort zone of something 'school-related' as a job.  Sure, I still work in my part time job, but this new position is offering me a new confidence in myself I didn't know I had.

 Will I do it forever?  I don't know.  I'm taking it one month at a time.  I'm focusing on building my own team, and sharing with other moms what this opportunty is doing for me.  I'm trying to 'let go' of the outcome, and just put in the effort, and see where it takes me {this is very NOT like me...letting go of 'control' in a work opportunity}.  But I am moving forward, and it's a nice feeling.

Regardless of what you're thinking of doing, go ahead, try it.  Step into that uncomfortable space.  You will never know what you'll find until you try...

Have a great day!

{Jenn}

*Picture credits from here and here.

Water {part 2}

As I drove through lovely traffic today to do some much needed grocery shopping, I realized something.  I was kid-free.  I was blaring the radio.  And I was driving to BJ's on a Friday night in my minivan.  Wow.  What a great night I was going to have..... 

But then I remembered that my friend who just passed away would've given anything to take another 'annoying trip to the grocery store', and I decided to change my perspective from "have to" to "get to".  Like I "get to" go buy groceries for that family of mine. They are all healthy, and I have the money to buy what we need.  Enough said.  By the time I walked into the store, I was in a better mood.

My cart looked like Mount Everest by the time I hit the frozen food area.  As I forced my cart around the corner of the aisle, I saw a man struggling to get out of one of those ride-on cart things, and I asked if I could reach something for him.  He used his cane to right himself, and said that his cart had a dead battery.  He was going to try to walk back up to the front of the store to get a new one.  No offense to the sweet man, but he wasn't going to get all the way back up to the front of the store without an issue.  I offered to get someone to help find him a new one.  While he protested, an employee I saw earlier {who was collecting boxes for the store} came by, and I asked if he would help.  He said yes, but looked at me like 'thanks alot lady'....and I kind of thought he might not come back...he had looked pretty aggravated earlier when I saw him by the yogurt.

While we waited, the stranded man struck up quite the conversation with me.  Turns out he was retired, and had worked on the school board for Harvard.  His wife {who was somewhere in the store} was a retired nurse for children with special needs.  He asked what I did for a living, and wondered if I had kids, etc....small talk while we waited.  It was kind of funny, like we were old friends or something.  He was very sweet, and while checking out my cart, suggested I put back the ice cream sandwiches, and get my kids the drumstick ice cream cones, because 'they were more fun~and you get more in the box'.  I agreed, and put the sandwiches back... 

I was hoping that the box~guy would come back soon with a new ride-on cart, since my ice cream was surely melting, and I felt bad leaving this man alone {apparently not many people think grocery shopping is a fun Friday night activity}. 

It didn't take that long, and the box~guy turned the corner on a charged-up, ride-on cart.  Everyone who was near us in the frozen food area cheered for him, and I threw my arms in the air, hootin and hollerin.  How we ended up with a crowd, I do not know.  You should've seen the box-guys face light up~it was like he just won the Indy 500 or something.  It was hysterical. 

The older man was appreciative, the box guy was beaming, and the older guys wife turned the corner, like what the heck is going on?!!   I said,  "Your husband broke down, and he needed some assistance".  She cracked up,  saying it figures he would've gotten help from a nice young lady...

Maybe we all needed some assistance, because after the sweet couple got on their way, and the rest of us back to shopping and working, we were all a little better off than we were before the break-down.   There is nothing special about doing the right thing, we all make countless decisions to be kind everyday~but being really aware of those kind acts, and watching the ripple effect that is created because of them~that is the fun part.
Another reminder of my favorite speech....it's all water, isn't it? 


Have a great day!

{Jenn}

*Picture I used was found here at "My Sweet Savannah", and traced back to this site as well.  I tried to find original credit, if I missed something, let me know.

Send-Off

I want to welcome my new readers from Russia and Thailand...seeing your countries light up on my blog dashboard is exciting {I know, doesn't take much, right?}.  Welcome.

Yesterday my dear friend Kim was laid to rest.  Everything was just right.  The sun was shining, birds were singing, and the family was surrounded by immense love.  The reception after her burial looked like a wedding reception, and Kim was beaming, I'm sure, over every little detail that her husband attended to.  While everyone sat, ate, and drank some wine, a beautiful slide show played of Kim throughout her life.  She clearly did so much living in her 45 years on earth.  Her smile bathed over us the entire afternoon~it was just the way she would've wanted it.

Her husband asked me to read a poem he was given at the reception, and I read it, and re-read it before going before the crowd.  I told myself to read with feeling, but not to "think" too much...just read.  No crying~this was to celebrate her life now.  The crying was done.

I almost made it...the last line got me {I really did try...}.  Taking a deep breath, I finished.  Some of you asked that I print it for you, so here you are....

You can shed tears that she is gone
Or you can smile because she lived
You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left

Your heart can be empty because you can't see her
Or you can be full of the love that you shared
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday

You can remember her, and only that she is gone
Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back

Or you can do what she would want~ smile, open your eyes, love, and go on.

So, whether you knew Kim or not...it's a lesson, isn't it?  We all have choices to make in our everyday lives.  Choose wisely.  Be present.  Listen for the birds.  Make your kids turn off the movie in the car, and look out the darn window.  Look around.  Open your eyes, and go on.

Have an amazing day~

{Jenn}

Kim {part 2}

I need to say thank you for indulging me here.  It's almost 5 am as I sit here and write, I've been up since 2.  I'm not really sleeping much lately, before it was from worry, now it's from grief.  My friend Kim recently passed away from cancer.  She has a family that is grieving, and children who want their mom back. They are why I'm awake.  You didn't have to know my friend for this to be terrifying.  It's all of our worst nightmare, leaving our children too soon.  Kim fought her body in a battle to preserve her life for them.  None of us would endure pain like that for ourselves~but for our children?  Bring on the fire. 

Kim walked through fire for two years.  She knew it was stage 4 when she was diagnosed {started out as melanoma}.  There is no stage 5.  She fought for her children, her husband...and herself.

I had seen Kim when she was at a local hospital, but when she got transferred to the University of Penn, which was farther away, I couldn't get there like I wanted to, and still be back for my kids to get off the bus.  So each morning, since I was up worrying anyway, I spent time sending her distant Reiki {I will link this post up with some info on reiki, and talk about it more in another post, but just go with me for a minute...} hoping that even though I was not physically present, that Kim would feel the energy and love from those sessions, and maybe it would give her comfort on some deep level.  Sending distant Reiki is something like intercessory prayer, where you pray for someone who is not near you, or maybe who you do not know, and you hope that they feel your prayers, and are comforted. 

I finally figured a day when I could get up there, and my husband was working a shift that helped me out w/the kids {that day would be Monday, March 11th}.

Saturday morning, the 9th, I was up early again, and felt upset, moreso than usual.  I felt like I needed to bring out the 'big guns', and took my Nana's rosaries for the distant Reiki session that morning. I only bust those out when I need some extra help.  Saturday just felt like that kind of day. I sat in my Nana's chair and said a decade of the rosary, and began sending Reiki from the 'blue room' in my house, looking out a window towards the sunrise.  But the energy was totally different.  It felt thick, slow, not clear...like pushing your hand through gel.  It made me panic.  As I moved through her energy centers {you envision the person standing or lying in front of you} and got to her root chakra, I felt very little energy at all.  This should be a strong point, it is your life energy.  I felt very little life in her, and I was very overwhelmed with emotion. 

I didn't want to alarm Kim's best friend, but I texted her around 8 am saying I need to talk with you about the Reiki I sent today.....because maybe I was wrong in how I percieved the energy {I had hoped I was wrong}.  I figured I'd explain it to her on the phone later on.  But at 9:30 am I got the call from Kim's husband that she wasn't going to make it through the day.  I needed to come to Penn.  What I felt was real.

Luckily my sister was around to take me to the hospital so I could be with her, and when I got there, Kim's best friend asked if I would do Reiki for her with the family, so I did.  One of Kim's sons was there, so I explained what I was doing as I moved through the session so he would understand.  There was so much love in the room, the energy was palpable and overwhelming.  I could feel the love coming from Kim's heart chakra into the room for her family.  Her physical body was fading at an alarming rate, but her soul was in high gear, and she made it known to me she wasn't really leaving this family.  She would be with them forever. 
I told her that I loved her, stroked her hair, her hand, and told her that it was okay to go.  She had fought hard and long enough. I promised to help look after the kids, the house, whatever she needed.  Many of us would take up for her, so not to worry.  Even in her comprimised state she tried to ask me how I was doing.  I told her she could stop being the perfect hostess...we were there for her now.

Kim passed away at 8pm, surrounded by the love of family and friends.  It's interesting how when someone passes who you love, it takes your breath away too. 

I never got the Monday visit in~Monday never came for her.  I drove home yesterday and realized I should've been driving up to Penn for that visit.  Lost my mind.  But if I truly believe what I say I do, then I didn't have to drive anywhere to see her, she was already with me.  Heaven isn't a far away place, it is right here.  We walk among our loved ones, we just need to learn how to interact with them in new ways.  Energy cannot be destroyed, and one day we will all get to understand what that means. 

Until then, I'll be talking to her like she's in the room, praying for her family's strength, and trying to live up to my promise.  That's all we would want if it were us, right?

Be in the moment today....

{Jenn}

Kim {part 1}

I wrote this post on March 1st, a day or two after seeing my friend.  By Saturday, March 9th 2013, she passed away.  I'm posting this anyway.   I will write more about my friend, Kim...probably tonight...because if I don't write right now, I'm going to go crazy with my thoughts.   I need to get them out of my head.  It's 4:30 am right now, I've been up since 2:00.  And, honestly, I'm glad I have this little blog to get it all out.  So, thank you.

I have a friend who is living with cancer.  As of late, the battle she has endured to keep her health has been difficult to say the least.  I struggle with what to say...what do you say to someone who may be nearing the end of their journey in life?  I hope to God she is here a very long time, but as I write this, her situation is scaring the heck out of me.  Miracles can happen, and I will keep praying for one....

Recently I went to see my friend Kim in the hospital.  I entered the room, and when she saw me, she outstretched her hand and said, 'Jenn, I think it has caught up to me.  I don't know if I can beat this anymore'.  I told her to hold on, and ducked into her bathroom to wash my hands before sitting with her-half to not give her any germs, and half to snap myself out of the wave of emotion that hit me when I walked in.  She didn't need to see me losing it.  And I didn't want her to end up consoling me.  So I turned on the water~COLD~and snapped out of it.
I asked God, the Universe, the Angels....to keep me strong for my friend.  I could leave that room and lose it later, this visit would not be about me.
She had difficulty breathing, talking was difficult.  I told her not to talk, I would be with her, regardless.  But she wanted to talk.  She wanted to say the things I really didn't want to hear about how she felt she was losing this battle.  Even though I wanted to say, NO!  You are NOT going to lose this!!  I didn't.  I let her talk.  I said no matter what was ahead, I would listen and be there for her. 

Before my third daughter was born, I said goodbye to my Aunt "Hi Doll", her name was Georgeanna, but honestly, no one called her that.  She was "Hi Doll" because that's how she addressed everyone when she saw you.  She was the best.  She was who we all wanted to sit next to at family parties, gossiping and eating cream puffs.  She died when I was 9 months pregnant with our youngest.  I like to think that she held my daughter before I did.
There was  a visit I paid to her when she was toward the end of her life in the hospital {colon cancer}.  She smiled even though she was in unimaginable pain.  She consoled me during that visit.  She spoke to me about being okay with death, and told me how she would miss all of us, and about how not getting to see the kids grow up was the hardest part for her.  I remember saying to her, 'Don't say that, you are going to be okay'. 

I knew she wasn't. 

I look back on that day and I feel bad that I didn't just let her say what she needed to say without having to defend her statements.....she was at peace, and tried to help me get to that place too.  That visit has stayed with me.  And Hi Doll's lesson of acceptance and walking through the unimaginable with dignity is what is helping me now with my friend.

I let my friend talk.  I let her say the tough things.  I listen.  I try to do what Hi Doll tried to teach me...sometimes you just need to say what needs to be said.  Even if it is something you don't want to hear.  You can handle it.  You can throw cold water on yourself and be as brave as your friend.  Just listen.

{Jenn}

Words

I feel like I need to take a minute to say THANK YOU to all of you who have been reading my little blog here.  {I have been a little busy lately...I will write about that soon}.  It is humbling to be out and about and hear such nice things from those of you who have been touched by a post in some way.  I'm glad you feel like it is helping you with your own kids...and can you believe it's being read in the USA, Spain, Germany and now Canada?  I can't!?  There is a world map on my dashboard page for the blog and the countries are lit up.  My middle daughter asked me if I was trying to be like "Dr.Two Brains" (from Word Girl on channel 12) and dominate the world...um, kind of?  LOL
So from the bottom of my heart, thank you.  I hope I keep writing things that make sense.
Okay, back to work...

Spread the word to END the word...we have seen that campaign in the news lately {The Transcript}, and I wanted to share a personal story about the little superstar in the newspaper photo.  I definitely don't want her to ever hear that word...

I remember meeting these super sweet parents in the Lab Preschool at the University of Delaware {when we were located in Allison Hall on campus}.  Their daughter happened to have Down Syndrome.  No biggie.  She was going to be in my youngest daughters Pre-K class.  We all became fast friends. 

Over the years we had plenty of birthdays and fun times, and finally we made it to one of the Buddy Walks for DS awareness.  If you are unfamiliar with the Buddy Walk, it is a huge party where kids who have DS have teams of chanting fans, and you try to impress the judges with the best cheer, best showing, or best whatever they decide.  It raises money for families who have kids with DS, and offers them services they might not have otherwise.  It's just a great day of fun for every kid there. 

The energy at the walk was like something I can't really describe in words~just very positive, happy, joy-filled...the kind of energy that gives you tears and goosebumps in a good way.  My kids had a blast, and after plenty of time in the bouncy house, we packed it up and headed home.  In the car the girls all said they had fun, they were tired.....but the one thing that stopped me in my tracks was when they started asking why Kayla got this big parade?  She was, of course, on a float for God's sake, and we all wore t-shirts {designed by her talented mother} with her name on them.  What was the big deal about her, they wanted to know {in a nice way...}?  What did she do to get this recognition, and how on earth could they pull it off too, to get this kind of treatment? 

I didn't expect that question. 

I had to take a minute to give a thoughtful, and truthful response.  I said that Kayla was very special, just like all of us are special and different from one another, and we celebrated Kayla having something called Down Syndrome.  They responded with something like, 'Oh, okay', and left it at that.  No biggie.

When we got home, my oldest wanted more information about this 'Down Syndrome' thing {she was in first grade, but if you know her, she was born as an adult...I can't explain it}.  So, because we are visual learners {and because I can be nerdy},  I took her to the computer, and showed her the karyotype {the image of chromosomes} for DS and I told her that because of that third chromosome on the spot labeled "21", it meant that Kayla had 'Down Syndrome' {I should add Trisomy 21 does not make up all cases of DS, but I was talking to a first grader, so I kept it short and sweet}.  I told her most of us only have two copies of that chromosome, she had three, and that's all that made her 'different'.  Her response I'm sure was something adorable, {I have kept journals, you know...don't make me go through them all and look it up....and yes, this convo is somewhere amongst thousands of pages}.......but it ended up with something like, 'Wow, that's it?  And she got a PARADE?'.

Um, yeah, she did.  No biggie, right?

I love that they didn't know what was different about 'little miss'.  I love that it never mattered to them before, and it doesn't now.  If we teach kids that we are all different in many ways, then we're really all the same~ aren't we?  We need a little more of that in the world, for sure.

Have a great day!

PS~her parents blogs are listed to the side of this post....check them out.  They do tons for parents whose children 'happen to have DS'.

{Jenn}