Anxiety

If your child has anxiety about going to school, regardless of what grade they are in, it's probably as hard for you to watch as it is for your child to endure.  No one wants to see their child upset walking towards that school bus, or in tears going through the school doors.  There are ways you can help to ease the anxiety of your child, and ways to shift their attention often enough to make going to school an easier task.

I have been the mom who has left a very young one in tears at school, only to make it back to the car in tears myself.  I've also been the mom who had to wrestle the same child into a car seat when it was time to go.  It's rough.  And people don't talk about it~mainly because it seems like such a simple task~ you drop them off at a safe place, you pick them up from a safe place.  It would be nice if it was that easy to do all the time, and your child understood that.  I'm hoping if you came upon this post, then you will find it helpful for you or someone you know who may have a rough go of it. 

There are lots of situations I could discuss here, but let's focus on one for today, as my kids are on spring break....{that means they are keeping me very busy}...

~Your child doesn't want to come to school, or has anxiety over riding the bus~

There are instant things that come to my mind when I see a child who struggles coming to school:

1. I wonder if the child has difficulty during any transitional times, not just in school
2. I wonder what is causing the anxiety in the child for them to act out/refuse to leave their parent
3. I wonder what I can do to shift their attention away from the fear/anxiety they have

There are ways to address these issues, and they may be easier than you think.  Here is one attention shifting idea I have used over the years that has had great results...more ideas will follow, but you have lots to do today, I'll try and be brief... :)

The "IMPORTANT" envelope 
When riding the bus is new, or scary, or anxiety inducing {especially if it is after a break from school, or vacation}, you are going to want to shift your child's attention off of the fear of riding the bus/leaving you.  One way to do that is to give your child a "job".  A really, really important job.  A job so important, they are the only ones who can be responsible for it!  They must be the ENVELOPE DELIVERY PERSON who will deliver this envelope to a teacher, a classmates mom, the principal or whoever the heck is important in your child's eyes. 

Talk this up.  Pump them up. 

This is a job not even the president could handle.  Let them hold the envelope, and protect it while on the bus.  Or if they are a "I want it in my folder kid" then put it in their folder, book bag, wherever THEY want to put it. 

Let your child feel some control. 

It's hard going to school everyday, and your child has no say in it {thank God}.  Anointing them with this important job title is a big deal, and it helps them feel some control over 'having to go to that place again where they make you do work'.  Try it.  And on a paper inside the envelope, tell the teacher/principal  you were trying something to help them get on the bus happily, as a kid with a mission.  They will go with it, trust me!

Give them that 'destination person'.  It will focus their attention as they leave you, they can think about it on that bus ride, and when they get to school, there's no time to worry when you have a job to do.  They have to deliver that envelope to a very important person!  Go a step further and email the teacher, or make a quick phone call telling them what you're doing so they can really praise your little one for being so responsible.  Maybe even ask them to write a response back to you and put it in...get ready....ANOTHER envelope to send home.  The teacher wants to have happy kids in class, I promise you!

This simple activity will do three things:

1. Shift their attention to something positive
2. Provide a new focus {away from the fear}
3. Allow your child to feel in control

This may seem really simple, but sometimes the simple things are the things that work.  There is no harm in trying, right?  It can always be tweaked to meet your needs.

Do you have a specific issue you'd like me to help you figure out?  Just ask.  I love using that teacher part of my brain.

Have a great day!

{Jenn}