Daniel's Big Night

If you've seen my posts about the girls teaming up with our friends at Preston's March for Energy, you know we have been busy.

In May the girls were able to participate in giving away a bike to a boy named Sam.  They raised the money for by selling lemonade and making loom bracelets.  The best part was that the bike ended up costing less than was expected, and with just a few hundred more dollars, they'd be able to purchase a second bike for another child in need.  They got to work right away and raised another $315.00 to make the full cost of the second bike!  The generosity of family, friends and neighbors who want to help has been both overwhelming and heartwarming.

The other night the second bike was gifted to Daniel, before the Wilmington Blue Rocks took the field in a baseball game.  It was a great night.  The girls were excited to be on the field, and it turns out that Daniel had no idea he would be receiving a bike of his very own.  There were smiles and happy tears all around!
Here is a link to local news coverage of the event

Have a great day~ and find a way to Pay It Forward!

{Jenn}

Sam's Big Day!

Thanks to countless donations, my daughters efforts to raise enough funds to purchase an adaptive bike for a child in need came to fruition.  At one point, we thought they would only have enough to pay for "a tire" or something.  Maybe give some money towards the cost of a bike?  We knew the cost of the bike would be $2200.00 at least.  The daunting challenge (to me) was when I knew the girls were only selling bracelets for one dollar or less.  To the girls, though, it would be just fine.  No big deal.  They had no doubt they could raise the money.

And they were right.

The day came where Sam would get his bike.  He had no idea he was getting one.  He thought he was just going to watch a 5K race.  The look on his face was priceless when he realized the bike was for him.  Pure joy.

Stephen Buenaga, Preston's dad, told the girls to remember this day.  Even when you're a grown up, you will remember the day you gave Sam a gift that changed the rest of his life, he said.  And I know he is right.

There weren't many dry eyes during the presentation of the bike...  And the girls were able to surprise Deb Buenaga, Preston's mom, with the final amount they raised, $2349.00 for that special bike!  They couldn't have done it without the generous support of so many people who wanted to help out.  For that we are forever grateful!  

Here is a link to the article written about the kids, and what Preston's March is up to these days!

Sam's great surprise is in pictures below....!  CLICK HERE for a video link to the presentation.

Have a great day~and find a way to PAY IT FORWARD :) 

{Jenn}

Small Acts for a BIG Reason

So I just saw this shared by Shawn Achor on his Facebook page (I wrote about seeing him in person for a presentation here).  I had to share it.  Grab a tissue. 

It quickly reminded me why my daughters are raising money to purchase a bike for a child they have never met. A small act, but a big reason WHY teaching kindness is so important.  You don't need to know someone to put yourself in their shoes.   

This video shows people who gave of themselves to help one person at a time.  Reminded me of Deb, and how Preston's March is making so many kids happy.  One kid at a time.






I have been chatting with Deb (from Preston's March for Energy), and she asked if the girls could present the bike to Sam, the recipient, at their upcoming  5K race here in Delaware.  The little boy doesn't know he is getting the bike~which makes it even more fun!

We are quite a bit away from our goal of being able to fund the bike totally ourselves, so I am going to make a few final pushes here to secure as much as possible to donate at the time of the bike unveiling.  

If you are able to donate at all, ANY amount is really appreciated!!!!  I would love to be able to hand over the full amount :)  

Here is our GO FUND ME page, where you can make an easy donation online.

As of now, Preston's March is fronting the money, as they had to order the bike parts from overseas.  It will be put together here in Delaware, meeting the needs of Sam, and making it perfect, just for him (I hear his favorite color is orange...).

THANK YOU in advance if you can contribute at all, and come out to see Sam get his bike if you can!  We are also accepting off-line donations as well.

Enjoy a scenic 5K run/walk with your friends and family on the beautiful Delaware Greenway! Afterwards vendors who focus on Family Fun/Health will be available for exhibition and information. Food/Fun/Music for all! 

FAMILY DISCOUNT FOR 4 OR MORE MEMBERS!

CLICK HERE to register for the 5K and Family Fun Day!

Have a great day!

{Jenn}

Teaching our girls how to GIVE

Back in October, I took the girls to a garden fair, and we met this amazing super mom Deb Buenaga and her sweetheart son Preston.  We learned all about their foundation called Preston's March for Energy, which raises money to gift adaptive bikes to children with special needs.  I wrote about it here.

 {Sisters are forever friends} ...a Christmas gift

Not long after, the girls wanted to start doing something to help raise money to donate to Deb's foundation.  It was confusing to them why it costs so much for a special bike.  It's hard to explain things like this to kids...we all take so much for granted...I had to really break it down for them.  But I said if the three of them together put their minds to it, they could figure out a way to help.

So, like every kid under the age of 12, they immediately started making rainbow loom bracelets, and asking for donations, with a suggested price of $2.00/bracelet.  Lucky for the girls, most of the bracelet donations have been a little more generous.

If you're related to me, you've already been practically assaulted by my lovely girls who have taken a slightly aggressive...assertive stance on selling their bracelets ~like putting bracelets in every glass at the dinner table during the holidays and offering to give the person a drink when they paid up.  
There are only so many bracelets they can make until their little fingers fall off, or I get cited for running a sweatshop in my home, so I decided to take it to the Internet and try out a page on "Go Fund Me".  

We are appreciative of any donations, and truly no amount is too small.  Our goal is to raise enough money to fully fund a bike for a child who is in need.   

Since we started raising money, every drop of spare change has been put into the "Preston" mason jar, adding to our goal.  Of course if we just rely on pennies in our pockets, this might take awhile..... 

On a recent trip to NYC, my middle daughter shoved about 20 bracelets in her winter hat.  When I saw one hanging out, I asked her WHAT she was thinking, and she said she thought she'd sell them on the street.  THAT was another conversation all together on why we don't talk to people we don't know, in a city we don't know......good lord, the kids mean well, but you see why I'm starting to help out a bit, right?

Click Here for our Go Fund Me page, or click below!  

All we know right now is the child who will receive the bike is named Sam.  

We really want to make Sam's dream come true!


Please help us make it happen!  Even a $5.00 donation will help us reach our goal :) 

Have a great day~ and thank you in advance!

{Jenn}

The Science of your Smile

If you like TED talks, then this post will be right up your alley.

I just got back from Nashville, Tennessee for my skincare business.  Rodan+Fields offered an amazing weekend of training workshops, information sharing, and encouraged connections with other consultants from all over the country.  To say that the experience was empowering as a business owner would be an understatement.

But the most amazing presentation had nothing to do with the fine details of being in business.  It had to do with each of us, as a person.  How to manage the journey to achieve something without "success" attached to it, or looking for it on the other side of that achievement.

Happiness.

To be honest, I was {pleasantly} surprised that the topic was on how to develop ourselves as an individual, and {maybe because I had never attended an event like this before} I didn't expect it.

Shawn Achor is a former researcher from Harvard who studied happiness.  You can find his website HERE.  He spoke to us for quite awhile about his fascinating research, conducted all over the world, about what it really means, deep down, to be happy.  If you're already a fan of TED talks, you might already know a little about him, but if you'd like a peek into what we were a part of, watch the video for a smidge of what we heard.


Since my teacher/perpetual student background has me trained quite well, I sat with my laptop on my lap, taking notes.  Here is a little of what I want to scream from the rooftops and share with whomever reads this blog post...kind of how I felt after reading this.

Remember that common sense ideas aren't commonly practiced ones....these points might seem like common knowledge, but let them sink in and do them.  Practice them.  That's what I'm committing to.

Here is the part that directly related to our business...when our top leaders were asked about what makes them successful in the business, three main points emerged.  

GREATEST PREDICTORS OF SUCCESS 

1. Optimism-the belief that our behavior matters 

2. Strong social connection-meaningful connections to others

3. Perceive stress as a challenge-take stress and work through it 

So what's the ACTION PLAN he recommends for true joy and happiness, based on his countless hours of research?  From the minute I sat down for my first family dinner at home, we were already practicing them...

Three gratitudes

Share, out loud, three things you are grateful for.  No, it can't be "my family" or "my job".  Be specific.  "I'm grateful for how you girls helped Daddy so much while I was away by cleaning your rooms, and being kind to each other".  You might be surprised at how those words take on an emotional meaning when you say them out loud.  Go around the table, and yes, it must be three things.  It takes approximately 45 seconds to say those three things, but after 6 months, research has proven that those 45 seconds, practiced daily, can reverse YEARS of a negative mindset, and also increase your attractiveness to your mate {we cracked up at this one, but his research proved it...}.  Our "mirror neurons" will kick into high gear when we model this for our children. BE the people we are teaching them to be.

The Doubler

Journal for 2 minutes about an excellent experience, every single detail.  When you record it, you deepen your memory of the experience and subconsciously you will seek to duplicate that experience again from it being ingrained in your mind.

Think of your hand, and close your eyes.  You can still picture your hand, right? But sit and write about your hand, the lines on your palm, the rings on your finger...now close your eyes.  The picture in your minds eye is much stronger now.  Same goes for our experiences.  It's only 2 minutes.  Give it a go.

The Fun 15

Take 15 minutes each day and engage in some physical activity.  Either run, walk the dog, or in my case yesterday, go sledding with your kids and husband...that 15 minutes will give your brain the same dosage of an antidepressant.  Do it for yourself, and reap the rewards.

Meditation

I was happy this was on the list.  Take just a few minutes each day, take your hands off an electronic device, and close your eyes, only focusing on your breath.  That's it.  Sean spoke of how he works with GOOGLE employees by having them physically take their hands off of their keyboards to focus on their breath during their work time.  It matters.  Our poor brains are inundated with so much information, kind of because of GOOGLE, so we deserve to give ourselves a break too.

Conscious Acts of Kindness

Whether it's in person, or in an email, fb message, or letter in the mail, tell someone how and why you appreciate them, directly praising someone.  It takes about 2 minutes to do this, yet the effects for both people are long lasting, from giving and receiving praise.

Overall...amazing people, amazing weekend, and I'm eternally grateful I have this business as part of my life.  It has changed me for the better, and I can't wait for what's to come.

And if all else fails?  Smile.  Nana said so.  

And she was always right.

Have a great day!

{Jenn}

Lasting Impressions

I'm home for the second day with a sick little one, and it has given me some time to think about a conversation I had the other day with some co-workers.  We were talking about the importance of connecting with the kids we work with on a daily basis. It brought me back to my job as a direct care worker at a very special place.

Years ago, when I worked at Divine Providence (a residential institution for girls & women with disabilities) I was struck by a message shared with us by a priest during a community mass.  It was a story that described how every single interaction with a human being, child or adult, disabled or not, created an impression.  

Imagine the child as a ball of clay.  Every person who has contact with the clay, creates an impression.  Even if it seemed trivial, or fleeting,  even a minor interaction would  leave a fingerprint.  Regardless of how little it seemed, it still mattered.  It still left something lasting, tied to the person who held it in their hand.  Over time, the clay gets handled frequently, but HOW it is handled matters.  If it's treated gently, it remains in it's shape, pliable.  If it is roughed up, or forcibly handled, over time it becomes less pliable, hardens, dries up and crumbles.  It's kind of what happens to children who can't catch a break.  The kids who don't have someone looking out for them.

Maybe in that child's life, that ball of clay, gets tossed around, no one noticing how it is roughed up, disfigured, drying up, hardening....then what do we end up with?  A child lost.  The kids we see on the news.  The kids who end up hating their life, and everything around them.  


Teachers have an important role in this story...we interact with so many children throughout the day.  I saw this TED talk video today, and it seemed to make perfect sense.  It's worth watching.  Focus on the good.  Focus on the relationship.  Build kids up, and they won't let us down.

Have a great day~
{Jenn}

Give Blood

Recently, when a Philadelphia police officer was shot, there was a call to donate blood on the news. Thankfully people came out in force to help. Of course blood is needed  in the event if a tragedy, but it's also needed for people in hospitals everyday. It made me think of the day I was the one in need. 

I received a blood transfusion when I gave birth to our first daughter, and it saved my life. 

I remember thinking that I wished the bags of blood hung on that IV pole had pictures on them, so I could see who was saving me. But, of course, it's anonymous....so here is my thank you, after almost 11 years, to the people who gave me my life back, and allowed me to be a mom, wife and daughter. 

Dear Donor, 
 

I know this is a long overdue thank you, but to me it will always feel like yesterday when you saved my life.  Maybe it was on your way to work, maybe on your lunch break.  Maybe it was at a blood donation event where they had those tables set up, full of juice and cookies for your "after-donating" treat. Regardless, wherever you were, you saved me. 

Maybe you donated because you thought it was nice to do. Maybe your employer encouraged you, or a friend was going that morning and you tagged along. Your simple decision to take a moment, and give your blood saved me. 

It's kind of obscure when you donate blood. You usually don't get to see the face of the person you are helping.  I am forever grateful, and there's something I want you to know...   I never thought I was going to need you. I had been a donor before, but never considered I'd be the one needing the donation. 

My first pregnancy was generally normal, but the delivery was not. My labor was extremely difficult and our daughter was a very big baby, got stuck, and had to have her clavicle broken to get her delivered. My body barely handled the prolonged labor, and trauma during birth.

About seven hours after having our daughter, I was in my room, alone with the new baby. My family had all gone home to change and get something to eat. I buzzed the nurse because I was in severe pain, and honestly thought I was having another baby. When she walked in I knew something terrible was happening. The look on her face, and the immediate call for every staff member on the floor told me something was very wrong. I was in the midst of a postpartum hemorrhage and had been bleeding out.

I could feel myself fading and wanting to sleep. There was one nurse whose only job was to hold my hand and stay in my face to keep me conscious. "YOU STAY WITH ME", is what I remember her saying the most, nose to nose with me, staring into my eyes. Others were on top of me in the bed, trying desperately to stop the bleeding. The pain was unimaginable, and I was scared out of my mind. 

My family arrived. I was taken quickly to the ICU. I remember the glass walls, and harrowed expressions. I was scared, but too compromised to realize how bad it actually was. I was in and out of consciousness but distinctly heard the doctor say, "If this bleeding doesn't get under control, we're going to have to do an emergency hysterectomy".  I was 28. I instantaneously realized the situation was worse than I thought.  The look on the doctors face was grim.  Then I started to bleed out, again. 

And that's when you came into my room, stayed by my bedside, and you saved my life. You didn't know it at the time, but nurses rushed in with bags of your blood, and started the transfusion. I recall two separate transfusions, but honestly, I have a hard time piecing my ICU visit together completely, so I'm unsure how much blood I actually recieved. I was very out of it, my body struggling with itself. The only blood I had left inside of me had rushed to my core internal organs. That's what your body does to try to keep you alive. It felt chaotic. 

But when you came along, my body calmed down. You may have been home playing with your kids, or eating dinner, but really you were saving me in my hospital room.  Superhero kind of work, and you didn't even know it.

I do have a perfect memory of looking at the bags of blood, and thinking, "thank you, thank you" to whomever had given me this second chance. I don't even want to consider what would've happened to me had blood not been available.  It was right before Christmas, and the nurses kept telling me I had better get well enough to 'get outta there' by Christmas Eve with that new baby. I listened. We left the hospital on the 23rd. 

You made that possible. You let me experience becoming a mom, continue to be a wife and daughter, and because your blood saved me, you gave me two more gifts. The hysterectomy never had to happen, and our daughter got to become a big sister, twice {I know, it sounds crazy that I had more kids...}.

My life with my family would not be what is without the gift you gave me. 

So even though we've never met, you stood by my side on the scariest day of my life, and have been with me ever since that day. Your gift runs through my veins. You became a part of me. 

Thank you for taking the time on that lunch break, way to work, or drive home to give blood. Your kindness was not lost on me. And it still makes me cry grateful tears. 

Sincerely, 

{Jenn}

To become a blood donor, go here and to find a local blood donation site (Delaware area) click here.

Good Deeds

Over the past two weeks, I have taught at our church summer program in the second grade class. Yes, I teach material from their books, and follow the curriculum, but I also try my best to show the kids how to make connections in their lives to the basic messages of kindness and love.

I really wish our kids in their "regular school year" classrooms had courses in how to be kind, how to pay it forward, and why that is so important. I think it's easy for us {as grown-ups} to forget that even though we understand its the right thing to be kind, it's just as important to teach kids the WHY.  

I don't just tell my own kids to brush their teeth, I tell them why it's important and what will happen if they don't {OK, maybe this was a bad example....I still have to poke and prod them....but you get the point}.

Each morning in my class, I asked the students to do two things: write a good deed they have done on a leaf cut-out, and write a prayer intention on a flower. Then the kids took turns reading the kind act they had done, and asked their friends to think of their special person or animal they were praying for that day.

On the first day there were 10 leaves of good deeds, 8 days later there were 80. Kind acts add up quickly when you are aware of them.

And that might be the point...we do nice things all the time for others, and we assume kids just 'get that' and why it's important. But making them aware of their behavior is really what makes it different.  Awareness is what make kids think twice before laughing along with the group if someone is being made fun of on the playground. It might just be what makes them speak up for that kid and say, 'Hey, let's go over here and play basketball'.  That might be the kindest thing they could do all week.  Imagine how it could change the course of a bullied-kid's life if he had a friend who stood up for him? Sounds small, but might turn out to be really huge to that kid. 

That was the biggest message I hope the kids understood.  These small, kind acts add up to create huge ripple effects in the lives of others.  If you are kind to someone, that might change their whole day and it gets passed on again, and again....

So in the comment section here, feel free to leave a note about a good deed your kids have done.  I asked my students to check in with me here and add something kind they have done over the summer......I told them they might be the ones who inspire others to do the same.   If this can be read all over the world, we're bound to get some good deed comments, right?  Maybe?

Below are some of the good deeds and the prayers of my students.  Let's see how big this "tree" can grow. 

Have a great day!

{Jenn}

I helped my Mom bring in the groceries

I will pray for my Mom who had cancer

When my sister wasn't looking I made her bed

I will pray for my Mom's dog Pepper

I pray for my Grandpa

I will pray for my great-great grandfather

I pray for my cat

I watered the plants

Simplicity

Sometimes when life feels overwhelming, I go to the simple, yet profound principles of Reiki:

photo credit here

Just for today, do not anger

Do not worry

Be grateful

Work hard

Be kind to others

That sums it up, doesn't it?  Kind of like hitting the re-set button...

Have a great day!

{Jenn}

Water {part 2}

As I drove through lovely traffic today to do some much needed grocery shopping, I realized something.  I was kid-free.  I was blaring the radio.  And I was driving to BJ's on a Friday night in my minivan.  Wow.  What a great night I was going to have..... 

But then I remembered that my friend who just passed away would've given anything to take another 'annoying trip to the grocery store', and I decided to change my perspective from "have to" to "get to".  Like I "get to" go buy groceries for that family of mine. They are all healthy, and I have the money to buy what we need.  Enough said.  By the time I walked into the store, I was in a better mood.

My cart looked like Mount Everest by the time I hit the frozen food area.  As I forced my cart around the corner of the aisle, I saw a man struggling to get out of one of those ride-on cart things, and I asked if I could reach something for him.  He used his cane to right himself, and said that his cart had a dead battery.  He was going to try to walk back up to the front of the store to get a new one.  No offense to the sweet man, but he wasn't going to get all the way back up to the front of the store without an issue.  I offered to get someone to help find him a new one.  While he protested, an employee I saw earlier {who was collecting boxes for the store} came by, and I asked if he would help.  He said yes, but looked at me like 'thanks alot lady'....and I kind of thought he might not come back...he had looked pretty aggravated earlier when I saw him by the yogurt.

While we waited, the stranded man struck up quite the conversation with me.  Turns out he was retired, and had worked on the school board for Harvard.  His wife {who was somewhere in the store} was a retired nurse for children with special needs.  He asked what I did for a living, and wondered if I had kids, etc....small talk while we waited.  It was kind of funny, like we were old friends or something.  He was very sweet, and while checking out my cart, suggested I put back the ice cream sandwiches, and get my kids the drumstick ice cream cones, because 'they were more fun~and you get more in the box'.  I agreed, and put the sandwiches back... 

I was hoping that the box~guy would come back soon with a new ride-on cart, since my ice cream was surely melting, and I felt bad leaving this man alone {apparently not many people think grocery shopping is a fun Friday night activity}. 

It didn't take that long, and the box~guy turned the corner on a charged-up, ride-on cart.  Everyone who was near us in the frozen food area cheered for him, and I threw my arms in the air, hootin and hollerin.  How we ended up with a crowd, I do not know.  You should've seen the box-guys face light up~it was like he just won the Indy 500 or something.  It was hysterical. 

The older man was appreciative, the box guy was beaming, and the older guys wife turned the corner, like what the heck is going on?!!   I said,  "Your husband broke down, and he needed some assistance".  She cracked up,  saying it figures he would've gotten help from a nice young lady...

Maybe we all needed some assistance, because after the sweet couple got on their way, and the rest of us back to shopping and working, we were all a little better off than we were before the break-down.   There is nothing special about doing the right thing, we all make countless decisions to be kind everyday~but being really aware of those kind acts, and watching the ripple effect that is created because of them~that is the fun part.
Another reminder of my favorite speech....it's all water, isn't it? 


Have a great day!

{Jenn}

*Picture I used was found here at "My Sweet Savannah", and traced back to this site as well.  I tried to find original credit, if I missed something, let me know.

Helpers

After the unspeakable tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School, I think we all struggled to find ways to explain to our children what had occurred.  I know I wanted to let my girls know {at least in general} what went on before they got on the school bus, so they wouldn't hear other versions of events and get scared.  The truth was scary enough.  There was one piece of information that was stuck in my brain~I think it was a quote from Mr.Rogers~and I decided it was the best way to tell the horrific story, and still let them feel empowered to help themselves in an unthinkable situation.

{Look for the helpers} 

I'm going to look up the quote to be correct here, but paraphrasing, Mr.Rogers said his mother always told him if he was lost, or was in a situation that was scary, he should always look for the helpers.  There would always be more people helping than hurting...so look for those people if you are scared or need help. That, to me, was the most beautiful, concrete way to explain to a child that bad things happen.  Bad people exist.  But there will always be more kind and good people in this world~find them.  That is absolutely what I want to be stuck in my daughters heads if the stuff hits the fan.  It tells them on a deep-down level to keep going.  Find that person that is going to get you to safety.  Find that person that will get you back to me.  Never give up.

Okay, I found it....Here is a link to the Fred Rogers Company, with the direct quote, and a very short clip of him explaining what is helpful for children during times of disaster or stress.  I remember watching him as a kid, and even the castle is in the background :)

I bring this up today, because on a recent shopping trip with my sister, I saw a little girl who was crying hysterically.  She was telling an older couple that she lost her Mommy.  I asked if they needed help, but the woman was already going to get someone from the store to page the Mom {who was surely as frantic as the little 5 year old was}.  I stayed with the older man, watching for someone.  We tried to calm her.  The older man spoke so kindly to this little girl, I had to turn my head because I started to cry.  I was separated once from one of my daughters for about 20 minutes in a very public place.  It was the longest and worst 20 minutes of my life.  Seeing this little one so worried took me right back to that moment.  What he said to her was so sweet...that she was safe, it was her Mommy who was lost, and we were going to find her. 
Mom came quickly when they paged her, and she was crying just as bad as the little one was.  I ducked into the aisle with the scarves and wiped tears away too.  Thankfully, a happy ending.

The point is, she found the helper.  Years ago, my daughter found the helper.  That's what we need to say to our kids to keep them safe during moments of stress or crisis. 

Those sweet children in the elementary school that day were surrounded with courageous helpers, their teachers.  Even though their outcome may have been tragic, the helpers did everything to save them.  Even then, more good guys {the police, fire, and ambulance personnel}came to make sure they got home safely.  That's what I stressed to my kids.  Terrible things do happen in the world, but the good guys always show up. 

I just thought I'd share that tidbit from Mr.Roger's mom.  A concrete solution to some difficult situations...it has helped me, and I hope it helps you with your own kids too.

Have a great day!

{Jenn}

Imagine

I set up this blog a month ago, and it just sat here, empty.  I wasn't quite sure how to start.  It wasn't that I didn't like writing, I've been writing for years...if you get the reference, it's like I have been 'Waiting for Godot'....and if you haven't seen that play~Godot never shows up.  The two main characters waste their time waiting for someone who never arrives.  So I figured I should just stop waiting and start writing.

You already know I am a former full time special education teacher, but these days I am working part-time as a reading intervention aide at a kindergarten center {here in DE} which allows me plenty of time in my children's classrooms, and I work very closely with a family whose child has Autism.

I've spent the last 11 years writing in journals (since I found out I was pregnant with our first daughter) as a way of documenting our life.  You can guess I have filled quite a few journals over that time.  Writing on the computer is something different for me.  I have a thing with handwriting.  I connect to it for some reason.  I think it says alot about a person, and when I see my Nana's handwritten notes, it's like she's back in the room with me again.  It's personal...and it's how I get alot off my chest~some lines smeared from my tears~and maybe one day, a long time from now, the girls will realize I really took the job of raising them right quite seriously...

Eventually I will put it all into book form, so my daughters will have tangible evidence in their hands on why I have gone nuts :)  When they re-read all of their crazy antics, and how much I have scrubbed off of our walls, they will understand.
In the meantime, I will keep writing before I go to sleep, and now I'll attempt to put some of those thoughts here....
And all of my journal entries to the girls end the same way...

{Love you all
Love, Mommy}

I am struggling today, as I think of what to write to the girls tonight.  I try not to be preachy to them, but today the news stopped me in my tracks at work, and I had to get my wits about me. My husband is in law enforcement...and when you hear of a shooting, where officers have been shot, your heart stops.  It doesn't matter if it happened in another part of the city, where you think your husband doesn't work.  It could even be out of state.  A cop gets hurt, and it's your husband.  Ask any cop's wife. 
That's a fact.
So a shooting occurred at the courthouse in the city this morning.  In the lobby where I, and many other people have stood, waiting to go through metal detectors for jury duty.  And I automatically know that my husband is at work.  And I know his specialties at work.  And I know if he's not there already, he will be within minutes.  And no, I don't like that idea.  Not at all. 
I know the gun debates have gone on as of late, and I know that shootings at schools, movie theatres, malls, everywhere for God's sake, make it impossible for us to leave our homes without being nervous.  But what I was thinking about today was this~and I don't mean to simplify a horrific tragedy today, or act like there is an easy solution~but every criminal, every person who suffers from mental illness that goes untreated, every person who puts their hands on a gun with malicious intent...they were all little kids at some point. 

Think about that. 
Think about when you were in kindergarten. 
We all probably can think of the kid who we know needed help...

What if we started teaching kids how to handle life situations from when they were small?  What if they had a class that was as regular to them as math, reading and recess?  I know there isn't a state standard for that...but shouldn't there be?  Of course right and wrong is taught through situations in the classroom, but maybe we need to make it a little more concrete.
Maybe it's because I spend my mornings everyday with tiny people, and I see the kids who appear well adjusted...and the ones who are not.  If children don't have coping skills, and don't learn them at home, shouldn't we be able to offer that during our 8 hour day, and give kids solid life skills training at school?  Even if it's 20 minutes a day, my goodness, can't we offer some type of curriculum?  I'll be the first one to sign on to write it. 
What no one wants to believe is that guns aren't the only debate~motivated people are capable of doing bad things...put up the wall and they will find a ladder.  But if human kindness was made part of their daily lives, would they be so inclined?  Why not also have a focus of teaching kindness in school?  Make it a subject for God's sake.  Kids who grow up learning kindness and compassion toward others turn into grown ups who practice kindness and compassion.  We can't risk leaving it up to chance anymore, that's a fact too.  I know that Jill Biden, an accomplished educator, would have to agree, and I hope she could have her husbands ear on this~maybe an issue as vast as gun control could start from the bottom up.  Imagine how different their adult lives could look if we started a nation~wide initiative with little ones now.
It couldn't hurt, that's for sure.
I hope the children who lost their mother in a senseless act today find some kind of comfort in their mothers family.  I don't know how that's possible, but my God, I will have those innocent kids in my heart.   
I'm off my soap box now...have a great day.

{Jenn}