The Science of your Smile

If you like TED talks, then this post will be right up your alley.

I just got back from Nashville, Tennessee for my skincare business.  Rodan+Fields offered an amazing weekend of training workshops, information sharing, and encouraged connections with other consultants from all over the country.  To say that the experience was empowering as a business owner would be an understatement.

But the most amazing presentation had nothing to do with the fine details of being in business.  It had to do with each of us, as a person.  How to manage the journey to achieve something without "success" attached to it, or looking for it on the other side of that achievement.

Happiness.

To be honest, I was {pleasantly} surprised that the topic was on how to develop ourselves as an individual, and {maybe because I had never attended an event like this before} I didn't expect it.

Shawn Achor is a former researcher from Harvard who studied happiness.  You can find his website HERE.  He spoke to us for quite awhile about his fascinating research, conducted all over the world, about what it really means, deep down, to be happy.  If you're already a fan of TED talks, you might already know a little about him, but if you'd like a peek into what we were a part of, watch the video for a smidge of what we heard.


Since my teacher/perpetual student background has me trained quite well, I sat with my laptop on my lap, taking notes.  Here is a little of what I want to scream from the rooftops and share with whomever reads this blog post...kind of how I felt after reading this.

Remember that common sense ideas aren't commonly practiced ones....these points might seem like common knowledge, but let them sink in and do them.  Practice them.  That's what I'm committing to.

Here is the part that directly related to our business...when our top leaders were asked about what makes them successful in the business, three main points emerged.  

GREATEST PREDICTORS OF SUCCESS 

1. Optimism-the belief that our behavior matters 

2. Strong social connection-meaningful connections to others

3. Perceive stress as a challenge-take stress and work through it 

So what's the ACTION PLAN he recommends for true joy and happiness, based on his countless hours of research?  From the minute I sat down for my first family dinner at home, we were already practicing them...

Three gratitudes

Share, out loud, three things you are grateful for.  No, it can't be "my family" or "my job".  Be specific.  "I'm grateful for how you girls helped Daddy so much while I was away by cleaning your rooms, and being kind to each other".  You might be surprised at how those words take on an emotional meaning when you say them out loud.  Go around the table, and yes, it must be three things.  It takes approximately 45 seconds to say those three things, but after 6 months, research has proven that those 45 seconds, practiced daily, can reverse YEARS of a negative mindset, and also increase your attractiveness to your mate {we cracked up at this one, but his research proved it...}.  Our "mirror neurons" will kick into high gear when we model this for our children. BE the people we are teaching them to be.

The Doubler

Journal for 2 minutes about an excellent experience, every single detail.  When you record it, you deepen your memory of the experience and subconsciously you will seek to duplicate that experience again from it being ingrained in your mind.

Think of your hand, and close your eyes.  You can still picture your hand, right? But sit and write about your hand, the lines on your palm, the rings on your finger...now close your eyes.  The picture in your minds eye is much stronger now.  Same goes for our experiences.  It's only 2 minutes.  Give it a go.

The Fun 15

Take 15 minutes each day and engage in some physical activity.  Either run, walk the dog, or in my case yesterday, go sledding with your kids and husband...that 15 minutes will give your brain the same dosage of an antidepressant.  Do it for yourself, and reap the rewards.

Meditation

I was happy this was on the list.  Take just a few minutes each day, take your hands off an electronic device, and close your eyes, only focusing on your breath.  That's it.  Sean spoke of how he works with GOOGLE employees by having them physically take their hands off of their keyboards to focus on their breath during their work time.  It matters.  Our poor brains are inundated with so much information, kind of because of GOOGLE, so we deserve to give ourselves a break too.

Conscious Acts of Kindness

Whether it's in person, or in an email, fb message, or letter in the mail, tell someone how and why you appreciate them, directly praising someone.  It takes about 2 minutes to do this, yet the effects for both people are long lasting, from giving and receiving praise.

Overall...amazing people, amazing weekend, and I'm eternally grateful I have this business as part of my life.  It has changed me for the better, and I can't wait for what's to come.

And if all else fails?  Smile.  Nana said so.  

And she was always right.

Have a great day!

{Jenn}

Centered

I love when science and spirituality match up.  It makes me happy, and lets me feel validated that my meditative time is valuable.  There are many studies that show the benefits of meditation on the brain, and over all well-being.  It's not just an ancient religious practice.  The benefits are real.

Over the past several years, I have volunteered in a religious education program in the summer.  My kids attend, and I have always taught the second grade class. During that first year, as I was going through the curriculum to get my plans done, I noticed that contemplative prayer and meditation was mentioned several times in the manual as a "note to the teacher", but it wasn't explored in depth {like I would've wanted it to be} in the kids part of the book. 

This kind of bothered me, as no matter what religion you are, or what you believe, the effects of meditation on the mind and body are amazing and measurable.  Check out this Harvard study where the results are rock solid.  The book based on a different study is one that you won't be able to put down...at least I couldn't.  It's explained in a very relaxed way and you don't need a degree in astrophysics to understand it.  

The lack of focus on meditative practice made me start trolling the Internet for resources on how to teach meditation to children.  I found this book, Journey to the Heart, and fell in love with it.  I have used it in my class ever since, and now the entire program uses it too.  They recommend that the meditation take 6 minutes.  But when you're in the 2nd grade class, that feels like eternity, so I start with one minute.  I mean, really, can you think of the last time your kids actually sat still and quiet for 6 minutes?!  I can't.  It can be done though...start with 1 minute, then add 30 seconds each time you try it.  It gets easier each time you do it. 

This book offers a god-centered meditation, but you can take the "religious" aspect out of it if its to be used in a public school type forum. I'm not saying teach religion in school, but spirituality is a fundamental need so why not give kids the toolbox full of strategies? Maybe that's another post...

Meditation offers kids something they actually need in their lives...they just don't know it yet.  I realize that my students may not decide to do this each day after my class ends this week, but I do hope down the road, when they hear the term meditation, or centering prayer, they remember this class and that teacher I used to have who did this with us. 

After my last summer-class meditation, I asked the children what they thought of it. Some kids said they liked it because it was quiet, some kids said it was okay, but one boy had a very specific response. One that I found to be really insightful. He said, "I didn't like it when we got quiet, I liked it better during class when there was noise, cause when the room got quiet the noise in my head got really loud and I didn't like that".
 

That was a really grown up observation. I explained that THAT was precisely what meditation allows you to experience. The noise in our heads is really loud, and the only way to quiet it is to sit in that uncomfortable quiet space and become an observer. Pretty big concept for kids. Sit in the quiet, and hear the noise in your head, and see it move through your mind like a TV episode.  Or like you've tuned into a radio station. Observe it, but don't feel like you have to interact with it. Have a seat and just watch. Listen. Don't fight the noise, just keep observing. Say that sacred word to yourself which is what YOU are directing. That is the point~YOU are not your thoughts running through your mind. YOU are the observer. I know, it's heavy for 2nd grade. But kids can handle it. 

Athletes do it before major events, successful professional people in business do it as well. As far as I'm concerned, meditation is a life skill that should be taught in school, and practiced everyday.

As someone who didn't learn meditation until adulthood, I see how it could've been a useful tool for me through the years, even through college when prepping for exams. My routine of all-nighters with mountain dew really didn't cut it. 

So try it for yourself, or try it with your kids.  Unplug them for 5 minutes.  When I started on the first day with my class they acted like 1 minute was an eternity...by day 8 they were silent for almost 10 minutes.  Not even fidgeting. 

Set the expectation, and your kids will rise up to meet you.

Promise.

Have a great day!

PS-I don't get any kick back from anywhere for you reading these books, just my own personal favorites...

{Jenn}

Morning Inspiration

I love watching Super Soul Sunday, because I usually don't know much about the guests backstory, which makes it even more interesting. 

India Arie was amazing to listen to. Of course I knew she was a musician, but I didn't know much about her life. She's a prayerful and meditative person which resonated with me, and she shared a personal, human experience so many of us can identify with~especially as women.

How we focus on what we think others want for us, and maybe live our lives out if alignment with what possibilities are really there waiting for us to fully realize.

To bring herself out of the spiral of living the life others had projected onto her, India asked herself a question:

"If I knew I was 100% worthy of _______, what would I do?"

Great question. One that could give some clarity during those times when our minds are racing. When we feel stuck. When nothing is feeling "right".

So, is unworthiness a part of you? Do you have that inner voice that asks constantly, "Are you good enough for this? You have never done this before, why are you even going to try?". I know I have a voice that sometimes plays on an endless loop. That voice really needs to shut up.

Asking the question might do just that. 

I ask myself constantly, how can I ensure that my three daughters don't grow up developing that voice in their heads that speaks nothing but bullshit? 

Allow yourself to value yourself over what other people say/feel about you. Maybe that's the biggest piece to remember. Maybe that's what happens the older we get...because at this point, I really don't care who likes me and who doesn't. It's okay. I don't need to please everyone all the time anymore, and I am a better person for it.

If I can teach my girls that part, the voice will hopefully just say, "Go for it. Try it. Paint it. Run it. Climb it. Sing it. Learn it...because you ARE worthy of everything that follows". 

Boom. 

The three of them will be Mommies someday, and pass that new recording along to their own children. It's my job to make sure I set the tape straight. Right now. 

No pressure, right?

Surrender. Unblock yourself. Go with the flow. You're worth it. 

Have a great day!

{Jenn}