Just because you should....

Plant impossible gardens

                                      ~Sark

{...and let your kids paint the supports...}

 

 

Have a great day!

 

{Jenn}

Read

School has been out for only a few days, and I am trying to adjust to having my kids in the house.  I realize they do live here, but they have been acting like slugs.  I won't be preparing breakfast all afternoon for much longer....

Three things I noticed after my kids were in the house for 48 hours of no school:
1. They were whining and complaining about each other
2. They tattled at a rate of 5 tattles per minute per kid
3. They were picking at each other

I had to remedy this.  HOW AM I GOING TO SURVIVE SUMMER if it literally just began and I'm exhausted already?  And how can I get them to start viewing each other as BFF's {my girls are great with one another, but a few hours of freedom had turned them into lunatics}?

I decided on that first day off, we'd head over to the library to join the library summer reading club.  Each week the kids can come to exchange books, and pick an age-appropriate gift from a treasure box.  I told the girls our summer reading would revolve around the once a week visit to pick new books, and get the next prize.  They like prizes.  This is good. This could work.   And that place is quiet....

Let's face it, I'm not the only one who has freaked out in years past when I realized I lost their summer reading lists for school, including the projects that would need to go with them, right?  Please say yes...  This year is going to be different {fingers crossed}. 

• I'm not going to let them wait until the last minute. 
• I'm going to make summer reading really, really cool. 

At least that's what I told myself a few days ago~and don't tell my kids, but it's working....

Think of me as Claire Dunphy from Modern Family...it's pretty much how my life operates.

Remember the episode where she tries to make her daughters team up "against her" because she was such a spaz?  Okay, that happens a lot, but that was my goal here.  Give them a common thread to hang on to of..."mom is a total dork" and go from there. I'm willing to take that hit for my own sanity, it's worth it.

I had to do something, so I came up with BOOK CLUB.

The first rule of Book Club?  There is no Book Club. 

Joking....OK, the Rules are:

1. I will read to them {from a chosen book series} for 15 minutes a night, then they can all take turns reading a little bit of their own book selections out loud, followed up with quiet reading, or they can have quiet reading at another time.
2. There will be listening to one another. 
3. This club is not optional. 
4. They will help each other read hard words if needed
5. They would each be required to ask one question about the other books 

Sounds like a crappy club, huh?  Nope.  It's awesome.  And they're doing it. They are already reading longer than I told them they had to.  If I have tamed these wild ponies and gotten them to team up after just one book club meeting, then you can too.

Here is what makes this club really work:

You have to make it special and feel important.  There is a secret chant we do on a pinky swear before we begin, and I read to them by flashlight, inside a tent, or outside. 

Think Dead Poets Society here...remember how the boys would steal away in the night to read beautiful poetry in the dark, and bond huddled in that cave area?  I do.  It made the reading a bit more whimsical, didn't it?  To me, this is the key.  Make it irresistible.
And I'm just saying, but you will have to buy into this too, or else forget it.  Don't stomp your feet and roll your own eyes.  Have fun with it.  They're only little for a little while, you know.

This special location and secret chant before reading does a few things:  First, it makes them think I'm a total loser for making it up, and making them repeat the secret chant out loud, thus creating a pack mentality of "Mom is such a dork" {You see?  They are already bonding and rolling their eyes in unison now.  It's magical}.  Next, they will remember this when they get older. It will be a pleasant memory.  And lastly, it is my hope that they will be dorks for their own kids someday too. 

Mission accomplished.



Yes, this got set up in my foyer
because it was going to
rain...

So try it. You can go to your local library and sign up right now, and make up a silly chant on a pinky swear. While your kids are doing something you want {reading and getting smarter} they're also doing something they need~building strong bonds with each other that will carry over into other parts of their lives~at least that's my hope and plan. 

That is priceless.  Totally worth my loser status.


In the spirit of Dead Poets Society,

Carpe Diem! and read....

{Jenn}

Summer Smoothie

Drinking a smoothie during the cold winter months is not appealing to me at all.  Now that it's warm, and I'm getting into summertime mode, that morning smoothie is top on my list. I don't like to eat much in the morning, and this fits the bill~it's packed with nutrition, gives a great energy boost, and keeps you feeling full. 

Note: If you are expecting this to be a smoothie from a chain store, or fast food place....it's NOT that.  This is actually healthy for you.  Promise.

I made my first breakfast of "smoothie-season" this morning {the ones in the evening with Bacardi don't count}.

You can tweak it to meet your own needs, making it sweeter in the beginning as you get used to drinking kale ;) I'm not giving exact amounts because when it comes to the blender, I'm an eye-ball kind of person, so I hope the pictures give you an idea of proportions.

Here are the main ingredients:

Jenn's Summer Smoothie

• Kale~if you are worried that you won't use the big bag of kale from the grocery store, do what I do and freeze it.  The bag is under $3.00 and it looks like a pillow.  It will last you awhile unless you are cooking with it as well, or adding it to salads.  It's worth it for the fiber, vitamins, and protein.
• Frozen blueberries~buy the big bag...if you are making smoothies and want your kids to drink them, they will think a purple drink is much more fun to drink than a green one.  That's how it works with my girls.
• Frozen bananas~when making a smoothie with kale, at least one frozen banana is a must for me to have the consistency that makes it 'taste right'.  If you make it without the banana, it will be kind of watery, and the taste is just blah.  You will curse me drinking it without this binder ingredient....and we should be friends.
• Water~I usually fill the blender up about half-way.  You can always add more later if it's too thick.
• Hemp protein powder~I added about 1/4 c of hemp to my smoothie for the added protein, Omega-3 and Omega-6 Essential Fatty Acids, and energy boost.  It doesn't change the taste at all.

I realize my pictures aren't super-fancy, but I was making my breakfast...it was early...you get the idea.  I hope you give it a try~and let me know what you think!  There really are endless variations....enjoy!

Step 1: Add about 1/2 to 2/3 blender full of kale

Step 2: Add about 2 cups worth of blueberries

Step 3: Add 2 frozen bananas {freeze them, skinless, when they start to darken with spots so they are sweet} 

Step 4: Add about 1/2 blender full of water

Step 5: Add about 1/4c of Hemp protein powder, and blend until smooth

Drink it up!

You will get about 2-3 large glass servings of this smoothie from this recipe.  I give my kids small glasses of it, and as long as it's not green colored, and sweet enough, they will drink it.  Most of the time without my prodding..... 

My tip is to give them straws...that's the easiest way for them NOT to realize there are tiny specs of kale in there.....also my blender is the one I got for my wedding 13 years ago....it is slowly dying.  I'm sure if I splurged and got the Vita-mix of my dreams, I would have a different consistency here....hint, hint to my husband.....we will see if he reads this post..... :)

Have a great day, drink up, and as my Nana would say, "To your health!"

{Jenn}

Homework

If daily homework has become the stuff of nightmares, it may be time to ask for some assistance...

Picture credit here

As a teacher, homework was something I cringed a little over sending home.  Not that I didn't think kids needed more practice, but I knew the kids would be beat at the end of the day, and I never wanted my extra work to be a burden for parents.

Some children...well, okay, most children work very hard all day to "keep it together" and remain focused on schoolwork.  By the time the bell rings at the end of the day, they are done.  Let's not even talk about how scheduled some kids are, with activities on multiple nights of the week. 

Take it from someone who had serious swim team practice {as a kid} every night of the week~it wasn't always easy.

We have to face it~kids are being asked to do more and more in the classroom, and that is not going to change.  But if the homework load is becoming such a tedious process, that it is turning your home life into a war-zone, it's okay to talk with the teacher. 

I'll give you an example from my own children.  One of my daughters has CAPD, and a "Mixed Expressive and Receptive Language Disorder" {I wrote about it here at length}.  Excessive homework is truly the stuff of her nightmares~and mine.  During first grade, she was getting a large packet sent home, with work for the week.  It was good, because we could do a little each night and get it done by Friday....in the beginning anyway.  Quickly it got harder and harder.  The nightly homework took longer...and longer to complete.  Frustration set in for both of us, and even as a teacher, I struggled with what I could do.  I solved the problem, and this may be an approach you could take too.

It was actually an easy fix.  I just sent her teachers an email.  I kindly described the difficulty we were having, and said I was willing to work with my daughter each night, but not to the point of "shut-down".  So we came to an understanding that I would work with her each night for a certain amount of time {20-25 minutes} on all that needed to be accomplished for the week {which included the homework packet, math on the computer, and reading a portion of a book}.  I would make sure we did a little from each page {like 5 problems instead of 20}, and I would be making sure she was understanding the skills~if not, I'd be letting them know. 

The teachers agreed.  And it made a GIANT improvement in our home life.  It became a manageable task, instead of an overwhelming one.  No teacher wants to be the source of your frustration, believe me {if you don't want to email the teacher, or cannot, then call the school and leave a message for the teacher to call you back.  Or maybe write a note and leave it in your child's folder}.

So, don't just keep dragging on, figuring the teacher is going to MAKE YOU do the entire packet with your child, if they can't handle it.  That is not good for anyone.  And the teacher needs to know how it's going at home as well~remember, they do not know the struggles you are going through unless you tell them. 

A simple email changed our evenings from hectic and frustrating to something we could handle.

Be that voice for your child.  There will always be a middle ground to settle on~be willing to find it. 


Any questions, let me know :)

Have a great day!

{Jenn}

PS~this is not a sponsored post, but I found the above picture from this site on Pinterest, and it fit the bill for my post here... :)   Looks like it links to a great resource as well!  Bonus.

Helpers

After the unspeakable tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School, I think we all struggled to find ways to explain to our children what had occurred.  I know I wanted to let my girls know {at least in general} what went on before they got on the school bus, so they wouldn't hear other versions of events and get scared.  The truth was scary enough.  There was one piece of information that was stuck in my brain~I think it was a quote from Mr.Rogers~and I decided it was the best way to tell the horrific story, and still let them feel empowered to help themselves in an unthinkable situation.

{Look for the helpers} 

I'm going to look up the quote to be correct here, but paraphrasing, Mr.Rogers said his mother always told him if he was lost, or was in a situation that was scary, he should always look for the helpers.  There would always be more people helping than hurting...so look for those people if you are scared or need help. That, to me, was the most beautiful, concrete way to explain to a child that bad things happen.  Bad people exist.  But there will always be more kind and good people in this world~find them.  That is absolutely what I want to be stuck in my daughters heads if the stuff hits the fan.  It tells them on a deep-down level to keep going.  Find that person that is going to get you to safety.  Find that person that will get you back to me.  Never give up.

Okay, I found it....Here is a link to the Fred Rogers Company, with the direct quote, and a very short clip of him explaining what is helpful for children during times of disaster or stress.  I remember watching him as a kid, and even the castle is in the background :)

I bring this up today, because on a recent shopping trip with my sister, I saw a little girl who was crying hysterically.  She was telling an older couple that she lost her Mommy.  I asked if they needed help, but the woman was already going to get someone from the store to page the Mom {who was surely as frantic as the little 5 year old was}.  I stayed with the older man, watching for someone.  We tried to calm her.  The older man spoke so kindly to this little girl, I had to turn my head because I started to cry.  I was separated once from one of my daughters for about 20 minutes in a very public place.  It was the longest and worst 20 minutes of my life.  Seeing this little one so worried took me right back to that moment.  What he said to her was so sweet...that she was safe, it was her Mommy who was lost, and we were going to find her. 
Mom came quickly when they paged her, and she was crying just as bad as the little one was.  I ducked into the aisle with the scarves and wiped tears away too.  Thankfully, a happy ending.

The point is, she found the helper.  Years ago, my daughter found the helper.  That's what we need to say to our kids to keep them safe during moments of stress or crisis. 

Those sweet children in the elementary school that day were surrounded with courageous helpers, their teachers.  Even though their outcome may have been tragic, the helpers did everything to save them.  Even then, more good guys {the police, fire, and ambulance personnel}came to make sure they got home safely.  That's what I stressed to my kids.  Terrible things do happen in the world, but the good guys always show up. 

I just thought I'd share that tidbit from Mr.Roger's mom.  A concrete solution to some difficult situations...it has helped me, and I hope it helps you with your own kids too.

Have a great day!

{Jenn}

Remembering

Happy Valentine's Day!  Last night I stood in the kitchen, feverishly cutting out paper hearts.  Before the kids went up to bed, my youngest daughter said, "Hey Mom, I can't wait to wake up and follow that trail of hearts you make for us every year!  You know, the path that leads us to our special treats?  Yeah, that".

"Sure, of course I will do that for you again!".  Oh crap.  I forgot to cut out the hearts.  I bought the little gifts, got the cards and the chocolate...but the path!  How could I forget about the path?

You can guess I didn't have the hearts cut out before bedtime...so I went through every scrap of scrapbook and construction paper, even finding some pink paint sample cards in the mix, and started cutting...  I got the path set up, staged their little gifts on the table (which included new toothbrushes for the amount of sugar that would be rotting their teeth) and went to bed.

When I woke up, I found a path of my own to follow...of roses.  Looks like my husband was busy last night too~he left in the middle of the night for work to have a special date with a 'certain group', to give some lucky criminal a Valentine's wake up call {side note: if you don't want 'special' wake up call, don't do really bad things, or hurt people...it's easy~be nice to people, that's it}.  My path led me to treats of my own~chocolate and wine.  As a mom, I really don't want anything else.

So it turns out that the little things, the hearts on the floor, and the surprise path of roses meant something to me too.  It's just knowing that you were remembered.  And that someone took the time to show you that they remembered.  It's no wonder that it stuck in my little ones brain, those hearts on the floor from years past.  Even something little can mean alot, even to a grown-up like me :)

Have a great day!

{Jenn}

Noise

Last night I came into our office {wait that sounds too fancy...it's a room where all our office-related stuff is...} to get some work done, and maybe do some writing here.  But that clearly was not in the cards for me.  My oldest came into the room and sat just behind the computer monitor, turned on her ipod and started playing some live John Mayer music {which is a favorite in our house}.  I tried to focus on what I was doing, but between the music playing, and her singing along, there was no way I could get any solid work done.
And then I remembered a lesson I learned from my dog. 

Yes, I know, I sound like a crazy person now {and that may be true} but, yes, a lesson from my dog.
We had him for almost 14 years, and he passed away almost 2 weeks ago now.  That day was more emotional than I could have ever imagined, and on that afternoon, when my husband and I came back from the vet without him, I was slapped in the face with something~silence. 
And I didn't like it.
Even after the kids got back to their new normal without our dog, that's all they kept talking about...it's too quiet in the house now.  It's not the same.  His absence is felt in so many ways.
It's kind of like when one of my three girls goes off on a sleep-over.  To be honest, I don't like it~the house feels different.  It's too quiet.  I feel off-kilter, and catch myself wondering when they are coming back. 
Funny how I often think I just want a break, then when I get it {like all the kids sleeping over my parents house or something} I just want them back...why?  Because the house is too quiet. 

Apparently I love the noise.

So, I scrapped my plans to 'get something done', and I hung out with my 10 year old.  She asked to read the first blog entry {her take on it was that it was 'very intense'...lol... I explained I wrote it for grown ups, you know....} and asked if I had gone 'viral' yet.  Cracked me up.  I tried to explain that I only wrote 1 post so far, and that if Ellen or Oprah reads your blog, then I think maybe you can 'go viral'.
Then she promptly asked when she could write a guest column.  She wrote a list of column ideas when I mentioned I may start a blog, and actually keep up with it.  I had no idea she was serious. 

She has the list.

You already know that she is 10, but in reality, she is about 35...maybe 40.  She was the baby I always said was 'born older'.
And it is not lost on me how quickly she, and her little sisters are growing up.
So, thank you, Augen {the dog} for reminding me how fleeting life's moments are...and reminding me to enjoy the noise while I am still surrounded by it. 

Have a great day,

{Jenn}