The Sweetest Gift

Over the past few years, when I un-pack Christmas decorations with my girls, one of them always asks about the dog in the Christmas box.  I have many ornaments from students that have always gone on our tree, but this dog has the best story by far.

I was co-teaching first grade at the time, and a little boy in the class had gone through a tragic event.  It was beyond heartbreaking.

Being as it was the week before Christmas, the students were all in a flurry, with many of them bringing in gifts for myself and the other teacher in the class.  I can remember seeing him out of the corner of my eye, as day after day kids lined up at my desk with their special presents.  He just watched as he unpacked his book bag.  

After the third day of non-stop present giving, he came up to my desk telling me he was getting me something too, but just forgot it.  I was pretty certain he wouldn't be bringing in anything, and I tried to explain that I didn't expect a thing.  My present was him trying his best everyday, and getting hugs from a happy first-grader, and that was more than enough.  

But it was really clear that it bothered him.

The next day, he unpacked his book bag and ran up to my desk with something in his hands.  He was smiling from ear to ear holding something wrapped in tin foil.  I unwrapped the ceramic dog and gave him a big hug.  I'm pretty sure he took it off of an end table in his house and wrapped it up himself, but it's the sweetest present I've ever gotten from a little one.  I asked if he was sure I could keep it, and he said yes, it was just for me.  Then he ran over to the other kids hanging up their coats, telling them how I loved his gift.  That little one had endured more than any grown up could handle, and just wanted to be like all the other kids. 

I can't help but think of that little one this time of year.  He is not so little anymore.

Have a Merry Christmas :)

{Jenn}

Canine Spirit

Weather can play a part in having a succesful vacation, but I can honestly say, as long as we can get to OBX, I can deal with whatever Mother Nature has in store for us.  Just get me there.

After a few days of hot sun on the beach, the clouds rolled in and the rain came, but that didn't stop us from walking the boardwalk at the waterfront shops, which expands down the shoreline of the Sound, all the way down to our must-go-to-sweet-spot, Duck Donuts.  We stumbled upon the owners getting interviewed and photographed for Distinction Magazine, and the girls had their photos taken too, as they dug in to a dozen of the hottest, melt in your mouth, donuts we could order...  As their Daddy would say, it figures we go out for donuts, and the kids end up in a magazine....  It was an extra treat, for sure, and we will have to keep an eye out for the article, and see if the girls make the cut.



Augen



The boardwalk connects you to a quaint shopping area, and across the street are beautiful little boutiques called Scarborough Lane.  My husband took the girls and I peeked into a jewelry shop, by myself.  I quickly realized it may take awhile to find everyone again, as the shops wrap around two seperate areas, kind of rectangular shaped.  My oldest peeked her head out and waved to me from the one store I was worried about taking them in...Outer Barks.  Don't get me wrong, it's a beautiful shop, with all kinds of special gifts for your dog, but I worried that the girls would get sad, missing Augen, who we lost in February.  I think now it was Augen who drew the girls into that store, becuase it was the most special stop of the day.



The kids had already made fast friends with Robin, the store owner, and told her all about Augen.  Turns out maybe Robin needed the visit from little girls who lost their big brother dog, because Robin lost one of her dogs earlier in the week.  Her other dog, Bogie, was lying in his dog bed in the shop.  Our youngest daughter was petting him so gently and said, "Mom, he is so sad, I can feel it in my body how sad he is.  He misses his brother.  But the other doggies spirit is still here mom.  Just like Augie's spirit came with us to Duck!".  By now, I was tearing up, Robin was tearing up, Peyton was on the verge of tears......until she spotted a greeting card they had on a turn-style rack with a weimaraner on the front in a birthday hat.  "Look, Mom!  It's Augen!".  

Robin packaged the card up, and gave it to her to take home to keep so she could remember her Augen.  It was really sweet.

Our oldest ended up finding a weimaraner ornament with angel wings, so you know we picked that right up as a keepsake.

I make sure I talk to our girls in spiritual ways, and how we are all connected.  How spirit never dies.  Never goes away.  Guides us.  

Peyton's first comment when we arrived in Duck was, "Hey mom, Augen's spirit came with us, I think he is already down at the beach!". 

Seeing how she was able to openly talk about spirit and feel the loss of the dog is confirmation to me that even when I wonder if my kids are listenening.....they are.  And because of that, they were able to share in the grief while comforting Robin and her dog Bogie at the same time.  That's pretty big for little kids, especially when coming from a six year old. 

It was even more beautiful to witness.

Turns out I was pretty grateful for the rain, which took us to the shops, which led us to The Outer Barks for a little shopping. 

It was the best stop of the day.


Have a great day!

{Jenn}

Noise

Last night I came into our office {wait that sounds too fancy...it's a room where all our office-related stuff is...} to get some work done, and maybe do some writing here.  But that clearly was not in the cards for me.  My oldest came into the room and sat just behind the computer monitor, turned on her ipod and started playing some live John Mayer music {which is a favorite in our house}.  I tried to focus on what I was doing, but between the music playing, and her singing along, there was no way I could get any solid work done.
And then I remembered a lesson I learned from my dog. 

Yes, I know, I sound like a crazy person now {and that may be true} but, yes, a lesson from my dog.
We had him for almost 14 years, and he passed away almost 2 weeks ago now.  That day was more emotional than I could have ever imagined, and on that afternoon, when my husband and I came back from the vet without him, I was slapped in the face with something~silence. 
And I didn't like it.
Even after the kids got back to their new normal without our dog, that's all they kept talking about...it's too quiet in the house now.  It's not the same.  His absence is felt in so many ways.
It's kind of like when one of my three girls goes off on a sleep-over.  To be honest, I don't like it~the house feels different.  It's too quiet.  I feel off-kilter, and catch myself wondering when they are coming back. 
Funny how I often think I just want a break, then when I get it {like all the kids sleeping over my parents house or something} I just want them back...why?  Because the house is too quiet. 

Apparently I love the noise.

So, I scrapped my plans to 'get something done', and I hung out with my 10 year old.  She asked to read the first blog entry {her take on it was that it was 'very intense'...lol... I explained I wrote it for grown ups, you know....} and asked if I had gone 'viral' yet.  Cracked me up.  I tried to explain that I only wrote 1 post so far, and that if Ellen or Oprah reads your blog, then I think maybe you can 'go viral'.
Then she promptly asked when she could write a guest column.  She wrote a list of column ideas when I mentioned I may start a blog, and actually keep up with it.  I had no idea she was serious. 

She has the list.

You already know that she is 10, but in reality, she is about 35...maybe 40.  She was the baby I always said was 'born older'.
And it is not lost on me how quickly she, and her little sisters are growing up.
So, thank you, Augen {the dog} for reminding me how fleeting life's moments are...and reminding me to enjoy the noise while I am still surrounded by it. 

Have a great day,

{Jenn}