Imagine

I set up this blog a month ago, and it just sat here, empty.  I wasn't quite sure how to start.  It wasn't that I didn't like writing, I've been writing for years...if you get the reference, it's like I have been 'Waiting for Godot'....and if you haven't seen that play~Godot never shows up.  The two main characters waste their time waiting for someone who never arrives.  So I figured I should just stop waiting and start writing.

You already know I am a former full time special education teacher, but these days I am working part-time as a reading intervention aide at a kindergarten center {here in DE} which allows me plenty of time in my children's classrooms, and I work very closely with a family whose child has Autism.

I've spent the last 11 years writing in journals (since I found out I was pregnant with our first daughter) as a way of documenting our life.  You can guess I have filled quite a few journals over that time.  Writing on the computer is something different for me.  I have a thing with handwriting.  I connect to it for some reason.  I think it says alot about a person, and when I see my Nana's handwritten notes, it's like she's back in the room with me again.  It's personal...and it's how I get alot off my chest~some lines smeared from my tears~and maybe one day, a long time from now, the girls will realize I really took the job of raising them right quite seriously...

Eventually I will put it all into book form, so my daughters will have tangible evidence in their hands on why I have gone nuts :)  When they re-read all of their crazy antics, and how much I have scrubbed off of our walls, they will understand.
In the meantime, I will keep writing before I go to sleep, and now I'll attempt to put some of those thoughts here....
And all of my journal entries to the girls end the same way...

{Love you all
Love, Mommy}

I am struggling today, as I think of what to write to the girls tonight.  I try not to be preachy to them, but today the news stopped me in my tracks at work, and I had to get my wits about me. My husband is in law enforcement...and when you hear of a shooting, where officers have been shot, your heart stops.  It doesn't matter if it happened in another part of the city, where you think your husband doesn't work.  It could even be out of state.  A cop gets hurt, and it's your husband.  Ask any cop's wife. 
That's a fact.
So a shooting occurred at the courthouse in the city this morning.  In the lobby where I, and many other people have stood, waiting to go through metal detectors for jury duty.  And I automatically know that my husband is at work.  And I know his specialties at work.  And I know if he's not there already, he will be within minutes.  And no, I don't like that idea.  Not at all. 
I know the gun debates have gone on as of late, and I know that shootings at schools, movie theatres, malls, everywhere for God's sake, make it impossible for us to leave our homes without being nervous.  But what I was thinking about today was this~and I don't mean to simplify a horrific tragedy today, or act like there is an easy solution~but every criminal, every person who suffers from mental illness that goes untreated, every person who puts their hands on a gun with malicious intent...they were all little kids at some point. 

Think about that. 
Think about when you were in kindergarten. 
We all probably can think of the kid who we know needed help...

What if we started teaching kids how to handle life situations from when they were small?  What if they had a class that was as regular to them as math, reading and recess?  I know there isn't a state standard for that...but shouldn't there be?  Of course right and wrong is taught through situations in the classroom, but maybe we need to make it a little more concrete.
Maybe it's because I spend my mornings everyday with tiny people, and I see the kids who appear well adjusted...and the ones who are not.  If children don't have coping skills, and don't learn them at home, shouldn't we be able to offer that during our 8 hour day, and give kids solid life skills training at school?  Even if it's 20 minutes a day, my goodness, can't we offer some type of curriculum?  I'll be the first one to sign on to write it. 
What no one wants to believe is that guns aren't the only debate~motivated people are capable of doing bad things...put up the wall and they will find a ladder.  But if human kindness was made part of their daily lives, would they be so inclined?  Why not also have a focus of teaching kindness in school?  Make it a subject for God's sake.  Kids who grow up learning kindness and compassion toward others turn into grown ups who practice kindness and compassion.  We can't risk leaving it up to chance anymore, that's a fact too.  I know that Jill Biden, an accomplished educator, would have to agree, and I hope she could have her husbands ear on this~maybe an issue as vast as gun control could start from the bottom up.  Imagine how different their adult lives could look if we started a nation~wide initiative with little ones now.
It couldn't hurt, that's for sure.
I hope the children who lost their mother in a senseless act today find some kind of comfort in their mothers family.  I don't know how that's possible, but my God, I will have those innocent kids in my heart.   
I'm off my soap box now...have a great day.

{Jenn}