Helpers

After the unspeakable tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School, I think we all struggled to find ways to explain to our children what had occurred.  I know I wanted to let my girls know {at least in general} what went on before they got on the school bus, so they wouldn't hear other versions of events and get scared.  The truth was scary enough.  There was one piece of information that was stuck in my brain~I think it was a quote from Mr.Rogers~and I decided it was the best way to tell the horrific story, and still let them feel empowered to help themselves in an unthinkable situation.

{Look for the helpers} 

I'm going to look up the quote to be correct here, but paraphrasing, Mr.Rogers said his mother always told him if he was lost, or was in a situation that was scary, he should always look for the helpers.  There would always be more people helping than hurting...so look for those people if you are scared or need help. That, to me, was the most beautiful, concrete way to explain to a child that bad things happen.  Bad people exist.  But there will always be more kind and good people in this world~find them.  That is absolutely what I want to be stuck in my daughters heads if the stuff hits the fan.  It tells them on a deep-down level to keep going.  Find that person that is going to get you to safety.  Find that person that will get you back to me.  Never give up.

Okay, I found it....Here is a link to the Fred Rogers Company, with the direct quote, and a very short clip of him explaining what is helpful for children during times of disaster or stress.  I remember watching him as a kid, and even the castle is in the background :)

I bring this up today, because on a recent shopping trip with my sister, I saw a little girl who was crying hysterically.  She was telling an older couple that she lost her Mommy.  I asked if they needed help, but the woman was already going to get someone from the store to page the Mom {who was surely as frantic as the little 5 year old was}.  I stayed with the older man, watching for someone.  We tried to calm her.  The older man spoke so kindly to this little girl, I had to turn my head because I started to cry.  I was separated once from one of my daughters for about 20 minutes in a very public place.  It was the longest and worst 20 minutes of my life.  Seeing this little one so worried took me right back to that moment.  What he said to her was so sweet...that she was safe, it was her Mommy who was lost, and we were going to find her. 
Mom came quickly when they paged her, and she was crying just as bad as the little one was.  I ducked into the aisle with the scarves and wiped tears away too.  Thankfully, a happy ending.

The point is, she found the helper.  Years ago, my daughter found the helper.  That's what we need to say to our kids to keep them safe during moments of stress or crisis. 

Those sweet children in the elementary school that day were surrounded with courageous helpers, their teachers.  Even though their outcome may have been tragic, the helpers did everything to save them.  Even then, more good guys {the police, fire, and ambulance personnel}came to make sure they got home safely.  That's what I stressed to my kids.  Terrible things do happen in the world, but the good guys always show up. 

I just thought I'd share that tidbit from Mr.Roger's mom.  A concrete solution to some difficult situations...it has helped me, and I hope it helps you with your own kids too.

Have a great day!

{Jenn}